Lately, I've been distracted by simple setbacks, minor complications that can be overcome, and worrying about material things. A lot of bad stuff has happened over the past few days and I'm getting tired and impatient. Though, they're not really big events, so I shouldn't be complaining (at least everyone's safe and healthy). I just can't help but wonder if God is testing my faith since I began to question my sense of Christianity the day before all this started happening. Truth is, I'm an ungrateful person, a pessimist, a defeatist, and I'm horribly self-centered. Even in the process of realizing how negative I am, I continue to derogate myself in such a pathetic manner mirroring an encouragement fish hook, and for what? Nothing but unwelcomed reassurance that is significantly overwhelmed with relentless abuse until it is disregarded just like the rest of my hope. I write, y'know; when I'm feeling really low, I write. It's a coping mechanism that helps me express my emotions in a non-threatening fashion. I could be out doing drugs, but I write instead.
Listening to: Dear Agony (acoustic) by Breaking Benjamin